Saving Me.

It's hard to write when my mind is so cluttered with so many different issues, and distractions, and emotions. How am I to decide on what one thing to talk about right now? I think its why I've avoiding writing a new post for as long as I have.

I keep having these really deep, meaningful conversations with my friend after consuming alcohol and being out til the next day. It bothers me a bit because of the previously mentioned elements, it's hard for me to remember everything about the conversations- everything that was said. But I remember how I felt in that moment, and it's amazing. It's crazy how connected you feel with another person. I always thought I was really close with some of my friends, and I am- I'm not saying we're not close... What I am saying is that, well I don't know what I'm saying; I don't know how to articulate it. Perhaps there are no words. It just feels right.

Sometimes there are just things you know, or at least you have to believe that you're right. I just have to believe that I'm going to be alright. I have to believe that I'm going to be successful. I have to believe that connections I've made with people- with my friends, are not one sided.

I don't know where I'm going with this... I told you my mind is all cluttered. I'm distracted by the pain in my foot- it's just constantly swollen. I'm mostly distracted by my emotions though. I think what I'm feeling the most right now, and it kind of sums up the last 7 months or so, is that I feel saved and I can't imagine where I would be now if things haven't worked out the way they did this last year.